Monday, August 07, 2006

The "Wussiest" Music Of All

Check out Blender Magazine's recent list of the 111 "Wussiest Songs Of All Time"

Blender, the self proclaimed defenders of good music, hit the nail on the head for the most part. Except for some glaring oversights.

The sickeningly sugary, ode to parental over-attachment, "Butterfly Kisses", was strangely absent. And unexplainably, "Shiny Happy People" by REM was ranked #1, yet "She Will Be Loved" by Maroon 5 didn't even make the list.

Shame on you, Blender. While REM may no longer be as cool as they once were, by not slamming Maroon 5, you just encourage them to subject us to more of the same flaccid drivel in the future.

"She Will Be Loved" lyrics...

I don’t mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved

Sung in a falsetto voice usually reserved only for Eunuchs, pre-pubescent choir boys and Michael Jackson, this song makes "Mandy" sound like "Enter Sandman". This omission is a gaping error for which the staff at Blender should be forced to listen to the complete Kenny Rogers library repeatedly!

PS While we're ripping "Wuss Music", the list failed to mention Michael Bolton even once. Does this mean that Blender considers his music a gift to modern culture? Not likely.

It's more likely that the former mulleted dynamo has fallen so far off the pop radar screen and become so insignificant that he no longer even makes a dent on "Worst Of" lists.

And that's good news!

Happy Listening,

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