Thursday, October 18, 2007

Sting Gets Stung

Blender Magazine recenty published it's Top 40 Worst Lyricists. While I don't agree with all the choices, they are intriguing. And Sting, responding to placing #1 on the list, responds by demonstrating that he is not too pompous or overblown to laugh at himself.

Blender's Top 10 Worst Lyricists

10 • Jim Morrison
Why would a guy who looked this good shirtless want to be smart, anyway?

09 • Donovan
LSD may be a lot fun—But not if we have to listen to entire albums made on it.

08 • Diane Warren
Love stinks.

The famously reclusive songwriter has never been married and doesn’t like dating. This estrangement from actual relationships may help explain her astonishing longevity as the world’s most successful author of creepily idealized cheesy love songs—from Michael Bolton’s “How Can We Be Lovers” to Brandy’s “Have You Ever?” and LeAnn Rimes’s “Can’t Fight the Moonlight.” She has enjoyed more than 100 Billboard chart hits. Unless you’re a big Cher fan, you haven’t enjoyed any of them.

07 • Paul Stanley (KISS)
This is what’s wrong with being sexy.

06 • Tom Marshall
The poet laureate of jam-band America—and a big fan of unicorns.

05 • Dan Fogelberg
John Denver, you’ve met your match.

04 • Noel Gallagher (Oasis)
Too busy being better than the Beatles to edit for clarity.

03 • Scott Stapp (Creed)
Just good friends with the Lord.

02 • Neil Peart (Rush)
An ace on the rototoms, a train wreck on the typewriter.

01 • STING

Mountainous pomposity, cloying spirituality, ham-handed metaphors: He can do it all.

According to Foxnews, Sting gets the last laugh. He sent this column a message by e-mail to relay to Blender.

"I am deeply honoured and proud to receive this tremendous accolade for my past efforts, especially when one considers all of the competition out there. Well, I guess somebody has to be top of the heap, so it may as well be me. I can only try and live up to this extravagant and unexpected honour in my future work. So once again, thank you, thank you and thank you."

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